Do you think if people knew how crazy you really were, no one would ever talk to you?
– Charlie, The Perks of being a Wallflower

Grumpy pants

I've been wearing the grumpy pants for too long. Don't know when the last time I had proper sleep was. It bugs the hell out of me when I don't get enough sleep. Looks like sleeping pills don't work now. And it's not easy to "calm down". How do you just "calm down" and go to sleep? Didn't even realize how grumpy I was until my colleague asked me to take a break and have lunch and come back only after that cos I was being grumpy. Even when I want to go on annual leave my boss asks, "Ethel, are you going overseas next week?" I reply, "Most probably not." "Well then, if anybody takes sick leave or we need people to work, we'll call you back." Seriously. How do you expect anyone to rest with that kind of mentality?

Bad day

Having a bad day over nothing. It's just one of those days the rain pours when you step out of the house. The cab driver makes the wrong turn. You get up from your seat to buy a drink and the guy clears your plates even though you're half done and your belongings are still on the table. The guy in the queue stands so close to you while you're buying a drink that it's uncomfortable. Your boyfriend just gets angry that you're upset and makes you feel worse tht he doesn't understand. He thinks I have bad days everyday. Only knows how to emphasize on the bad days it drives me nuts. Thinking about work tomorrow and about how understaffed we are. No one cares not that I expect them to. You want to be alone but get guilt tripped into going somewhere else. Have diarrhea after your meal. Try to take a shit but can't because there are Indian people screaming to each other even though they're havif a normal conversation. The sound echoes off the walls and it rings in your head. Fuck me man. I think it's the hormones.

Praying for a better day tomorrow. So over today.

this probably goes against everything I believe in, but woah

Goodnight

Sometimes,

it's just so hard to not talk about food. I sound like the world's ultimate fat kid, but I don't give a damn, neither does Nigella. I look at something like a craft stamp and think I could use food colouring and stamp it onto fondant. Or how can I make this delicious ___ at home?
Guess it's better if I stay quiet. ^.^